How do you handle a disrespectful husband?

Married life isn't always easy, but with the right person - It is always worth it. This section is my journey in the mighty married life, showing the good, bad & the great. The hubby, the kids & just life! Some topics are sensitive and some are a blast! Either way, I am going to try to enjoy life!W.I.F.E {Why Isn't Forever Easy}

 

I had another blog for married women and have decided to bring the topics to BernettaStyle. I thought I would start WIFE off with my most popular post from that blog! The following post was about a letter a women wrote to me about her disrespectful husband.

Here is the YouTube Video we did on this exact topic!

 

Good day WIFES. I received another email post request with the question above, "How you handle a disrespectful husband. One that calls you out of your name, an example B*tch, etc!"

When I read this email, I sat still for a minute and thought WOW. Out of all the things that my husband may do, this is one thing he surely doesn't do. And if he did, we would have a big problem. I can't even see my husband fixing his lips to call me a B*tch, alone or in front of people, casual or upset! Now one question I pose to the WIFES whose husbands are disrespectful - was he this way before the marriage? I would think so and you either didn't put a stop to it then or you thought he would eventually change after marriage or grow out of it. Not sure. I find it hard to believe that he was never disrespectful before marriage and then afterward he started talking crazy!

Let's look at both sides though - if he was disrespectful before marriage, you should have nipped that in the bud in the beginning of the relationship. And even if you attempted to do that and he would stop for a while BUT some how it would creep up again - then you should have put your foot down and left it down. What type a man thinks its ok to call your lady or your WIFE out of her name and expect her not to be hurt or upset?

The other side - if he didn't disrespect you before the marriage and started after you two got married, I would wonder what is currently going on with him. Why the sudden change in respect towards you? And again, are you allowing it? I am not saying this is something to walk away from your marriage over, BUT it's something that needs to be address because you are hurt and it bothers you. I would discuss with him "Why does he feel it's ok to speak to me like that and how does he think I should feel?" Some men have no clue what you feel if you don't tell them. They are not mind readers and sometimes don't know when their actions are insensitive or hurtful. This is no way defending him disrespecting you, I am just saying...... TALK TO HIM.

Ok WIFES chime in......

Power and Gas are NOW DEREGULATED!! This WEBSITE lowered my BILL!

Remember when AT&T was the only long distance company? Or was that BellSouth? Either way it was only one or two. Don't forget about MCI! Long distance was so expensive. Well when the long distance market deregulated many companies were able to establish themselves and prices went down because of competition dramatically!

The same thing has happened to ENERY (your power bill!) & GAS.  (< click here to visit website).

DEREGULATION: You now have the power to choose!!
Energy deregulation has enabled consumers to purchase their energy supply from Energy Service Companies (ESCOs). Before deregulation, both natural gas and electricity were supplied only by regional monopolies or local utilities that owned both the power plants and transmission lines for distribution. In deregulated markets, the utility company is no longer the only option for energy supply. While suppliers compete for your account, they keep prices down and push all participates to create better service.

Competitive suppliers are able to provide a variety of options for terms and rates. The only change that takes place is the source of supply. However, the utility company still continues to deliver the energy through the pipeline so there is absolutely no disruption to the service when switching. The local utility also continues to read the consumers' meter and maintains service.

Deregulated Areas
There are many states in the US that participate in Deregulation at some level. However, not all are open to competition of residential Natural Gas and Electricity supply. The map below shows some of the states that have some form of deregulation today.

 

 

 

Served

• New York
• New Jersey
• Pennsylvania
• Maryland
• Texas
• Georgia
• Illinois
• Ohio
• Connecticut
• Michigan
• Indiana
• Massachusetts

All you have to do is click on the link and see what is available in your area if you live in the states above! In some areas it's Gas, some areas just Energy. If you are lucky, it's both. When you decide to transfer it IS SEAMLESS!! Once you fill in your information, you will get a list of great low prices to compare to your current bill. You do not have to call to switch, it will do it automatically!

For FAQ's about how this works click > HERE <
To start comparing Energy & Gas prices click > HERE <

Feel free to share this post with family & friends! Let's all save money!

Wordless Wednesday: FREE LUNCH!

Friday, September 28th Macaroni Grill is offering FREE LUNCH to the first 100,000 people who print the coupon. You have to go online and like their page and then you will be able to print the coupon. Try clicking the picture to take you there.

I printed out 3 myself BUT this year the coupon says ONE PER TABLE which SUCKS! Last year me and my two co-workers went and we all had a coupon! So if they enforce one per table, it's personally not worth me going at lunch unless I go alone. Let me know if you go! Enjoy!

Why Women Hurt Each Other: Oprah's LifeClass

I am apart of a dynamic group for moms called Mocha Moms. It's a national organization that is broken down into local chapters all across the country. Currently, I am over our Sister Circle for 2012 which means I (along with my partner Shannon) come up with new topics every month to dive into at a different Mochas home each month. These topics have a wide range but we always have great laughs & conversations when we get together.

This months Sister Circle was held this past Friday Night. We basically re-staged Oprah's Lifeclass with Iyanla Vanzant called Why Women Hurt Each other. We played the show to the Mochas then discussed different situations on the commerical break with feedback. It was such a good meeting and I believe we all left the meeting agreeing not to play the victim and learning the lesson in every life situation.

One major thing I learned is that if you don't want any of your business OUT there, don't tell ANY one your business. Yes, people sometimes have a lapse in character but always remember your part. Also, know who your friends confide in, because everyone talks to someone!

 

Main Ways Women Betray Each Other

Main Reason Why Women Betray Each Other: SELF HATRED
1. We don't honor relationships
2. We see external validation
3. We don't honor ourselves.
4. We mimic what we've seen.
5. We hold unrealistic demands.

Why Women Gossip: FOR POWER
1. It's acceptable among women
2. They don't recognize the power of the spoken word. (meaning what you speak will come forth)
3. Divert attention from self.

 

Why Women Lie

1. Fear of losing love & respect.

2. Fear of hurting or disappointing.

3. Cover up issues of self worth

4. When we feel threatened.

5. To be polite.

 

The cool part is I was actually in the audience when this show was taped! A dream come true.

Did you watch this show? What are your thoughts? Have you even been betrayed by another women?

 

Maternity Monday: Does it really matter, a Boy or a Girl?

Last week I went to my regularly scheduled appointment. My husband hasn't went this whole pregnancy, which really wasn't a big deal. He told me I was a pro. Although, he did go to this appointment because he thought the doctor was going to tell me what is the sex of the baby. I laughed because I told him that this is not the appointment for that, the next one is. He still went because with our 2nd child we found out early by accident in addition to having the regular 20 week ultrasound appointment. So, he was hoping that would happen again. Well, it didn't. I laughed at him because he just knew he was going to find out. He now has to come back in a few weeks to my next appointment to see if his 3rd child will be a boy or girl.

I was headed out to host a Mocha Mom event.
Shirt: Maternity (Ross), Pants: GW (Wet Seal), Scarf bought in Savannah

My husband & son desire a boy, of course! My daughter desires a girl. Me, it really doesn't matter. I want a healthy, beautiful, smart, blessed, & highly favored child. I have pros and cons for both. Also, due to the fact I already have a boy and girl - I would honestly rather be surprised. You don't get too many true surprises in life and I just think this would be awesome to wait. BUT the husband doesn't want to wait. He says he just has to know. So when we do get the ultrasound, we are going to ask the doctor to write down the sex on a piece of paper so my husband can have some peace.

I have decided to find out at my baby shower. We actually planned to do a "Reveal Shower" and my husband will reveal the sex to everyone then (even me). I think that's kind of different. I know people like to buy gender specific gifts, but I am ok with yellow and green. I will just feel blessed to get anything thing for my "Bonus Baby!"


Baby Update:
Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

So let me ask you, did it really matter what you had? A boy or a girl? I knew I have always wanted one of each and I am glad God bless me with that. Now that I am getting a BONUS, I will honestly feel fine with either one. Don't tell anyone, but I believe I already know what the baby is. I did the chinese calendar.

Maternity Monday: 5 Questions You Must Answer Your Entire Pregnancy!

Happy Monday All!

 

I would first like to announce the winner of the HandMade Earrings created by Shayla Peterson, owner of Pulling Strings. Congrats to Camille Blue!! Send us a picture when you wear them!

 

Well it's time for Maternity Monday!

This past week nothing great or exciting really happened. I actually go to the doctor this week. I did get on the scale while alone in my bathroom, and I gained another 4 pounds *insert sad face*. This week more people noticed I was pregnant at work and church. You see I never announced it, not even on FB. I only annoucned it on my blog. So if you didn't read this blog and weren't a super close friend. You wouldn't know until the belly started to show. So Sunday at chuch alot of people were asking me and saying, "OMG! I didn't know!" Well, I never said anything.

 

And then the questions start.....you know the questions Mothers (and mothers-to-be).....the same 5 to 6 questions you will get your entire pregnancy. You should almost create a card and hand it out when people notice you are pregnant for the first time.

 

1. How far along are you? 

2. Do you know what IT is?

3. When are you due?

4. Did you plan it?

5. What do you want?

6. How do you feel?

I just smile and answer. It's funny because it's never just one question. They just roll them off and I just roll of my answers because I am guilty of asking others the same thing.


I will say a fellow FB friend (D. Miller) posted this GREAT EVENT for Parents-To-Be next Tuesday, September 25th. September is Baby Safety Month and the Atlanta Moms Club is hosting an evening dedicated to the very best care for you & your baby-to-be! The event will include sweet treats and great information for expectant parents who want to know more about:

Creating a safe and beautiful baby nursery (from Bottles to Britches Baby Planners)

The latest research on storing your baby’s cord blood and stem cells (from Viacord)

A lesson in prenatal massage and labor tips (from Tara’s Touch Massage)

What to expect the first week you have the baby home (from Happy Baby Solutions)

There will be prizes and giveaways of items expectants will love, including Wonder Bumpers, “the safe sleep solution”, a custom made banner to welcome baby home from Posh Tot Events, a Nap Nanny from Baby Junction and a nursing cover from www.Tarastouch.info. We’ll also have the journeyBee travel crib and a gift certificate from Izzy Maternity. Viacord will be providing the appetizers and sweet treats at the event.
Space is limited, so get your tickets soon! Here’s the link for yours. It’s $30/couple or $20 for individual tickets.

The date and location: Tuesday, September 25^th, 6-8pm at Posh Tot Events, 603 Atlanta Street, Roswell, GA 30075.

Source: www.StreeFreeBaby.com

Ryan Cameron Foundation - Healthy, Stronger, Living Longer Youth Health Fair

The Ryan Cameron Foundation (RCF) will host its 5th Annual Healthy, Stronger, Living Longer Youth Health Fair on November 3, 2012 from 11 am – 3 pm at The Gallery at South DeKalb. Georgia currently has the 2nd highest childhood obesity rate, with 40% of its children being overweight or obese.  RCF’s goal is to combat Atlanta’s childhood obesity & diabetes by educating, screening, demonstrations, and providing resources to the community.

The screenings include: cholesterol, diabetes, blood pressure, BMI, medical, vision, dental, orthodontic, physician’s consultation, and for the first time immunizations.  “Just last year, these services saved the life of a 5-year-old boy with critically elevated blood pressure.  Our community needs our work now more than ever,” said Ryan Cameron Foundation CEO, Kysha Cameron.

Additionally, the Health Fair offers: fitness demonstrations, expert panel discussion, nutrition & mental health education, community resources, mechanisms for change, and effective health & wellness strategies.  Upon completion of physician’s consultation you will receive an “in-home gym” – a jump rope, resistance band, and hula hoop, and a portion control lunch box.  Additionally, State Farm insurance representatives will lead an interactive Safe Teen Driving area with education, driving simulators, activities and driving classes.

“The Foundation is committed to holistically approaching health and well-being,” said Foundation Founder, Ryan Cameron. “It’s not just about health screenings, it’s about becoming equipped with knowledge to help make decisions for a healthier, more active lifestyle.”

The 5th Annual Healthy, Stronger, Living Longer Health Fair is sponsored by State Farm, Fulton-DeKalb Housing Authority, Amerigroup, Atlanta West Primary Care Associates, and The Gallery at South DeKalb. 
###

About The Ryan Cameron Foundation
The Ryan Cameron Foundation (RCF) is a not-for-profit youth centric 501 © (3) organization.  RCF was founded in 2002 by Mass Media Mogul and Atlanta Native Ryan Cameron and has dedicated its existence to the youth in Metro Atlanta and surrounding communities.  Its mission is to provide resources and programs designed to encourage positive transitional growth for the area’s youth.  The RCF hosts several annual events in which 100% of proceeds are invested into community organizations, social service initiatives, post-secondary education opportunities, and sustaining foundational efforts.  For more information about the Ryan Cameron Foundation or select sponsorship opportunities please visit www.ryancameron.org  www.twitter.com/rcfatl Find us on Facebook-RyanCameronFoundation

Wordless Wednesday: Maternity Clothes are on the Horizon

Welcome to Wordless Wednesday

I haven't started wearing Maternity clothes yet but I can see it on the horizon. I really don't want to buy alot, well ANY, because I know this is the LAST CHILD. But I still want to look cute and not STUFFED in my regular clothes. I was on PINTEREST this morning and saw this cute maternity look. If you know me, you know I am dress girl. I could wear a CUTE dress everyday. I love the orange dress above and if I could find it now, I would get it. I also love the dress behind it with the yellow sweater. That pop of color really adds a spring feel in a fall atmosphere.

 

Now this picture is more of a fall look. I love the boots and I need some new cute black flats ones (boots) for this season. All the looks are simple but so stylish. The accessories add the pop of pizzazz!

 

Now on to my favorite Vegetable: Mushrooms!

I can eat these everyday. And many days I have. They are a super food ya know!

Well, I usually saute them in olive oil and with onions and spinach. But when I go out and see Fried Mushrooms on a menu - WHY NOT? Their delish!

Family Planning Services with the P4HB Program (Out of Work / Uninsured)

 

Do you know someone whom is out of work and uninsured. This may be helpful. Pass it on.

Here is the website. http://www.p4hb.org/Static/FAQ3.aspx

 

Who is eligible for family planning and family planning related services under the P4HB^SM program?

The waiver covers family planning services to women:

• ages 18 through 44
• who are not pregnant and able to get pregnant
• who have not been sterilized
• who are Georgia residents
• who have income at or below two hundred percent (200%) of the federal poverty level (FPL)
• who are not otherwise receiving benefits under another DCH medical program or private health insurance plan

In addition, women who have delivered a VLBW baby (birth-weight of 1500 grams, 3.3 lbs or less) are eligible for the Interpregnancy care program. In addition to the family planning services covered above, these women are also eligible for:

• Primary Care (up to 5 visits per year)
• Limited substance Abuse Services
• Pharmacy benefits (non family planning medications)
• Non-emergency transportation
• Resource Mother outreach (case management)
• Limited dental services

Maternity Monday: Handmade Earrings Give-a-way

Good Day All! How was your weekend? Mine was a full blast! Friday, we rented movies and watched with the kids. Saturday, the kids attended a 4 year old birthday party for my children's friend! After that, it was time for Mama to party. The hubby and I were invited to a friends 40th Surprise Birthday Bash. It was an All Black Masquerade Ball. Fun Fun & Fun! Sunday, church & 5linx. My week in the Maternity world was fine. I was just tired. Any time I could lay down, I was all for it. I worked out with Zumba at least 3 days this week. I ate healthy but did have Chick-Fil-A french fries twice. And I even had an order of Little Ceasers Cheese Bread with Mushrooms. I know! I know!

Now on to the give-a-way! I have had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Shayla. The creator of Pulling Strings (http://www.pullingstrings.net/). Shayla is a new mommy and knows exactly what I am going through! She knows nothing makes a mom-to-be feel better than something cute! She hand makes all her jewelry and I just really like her pieces. She was open to doing a give-a-way for the BernettaStyle readers, so enter! You just might win. Please read about Pulling Strings below and how she started this unique business.

These are the earrings you could win!

 

 

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How long have been crocheting earrings?
I have been crocheting over 20 years.  I was taught by my aunt at very young age.  I started to create crochet earrings last spring.   

What made you design crochet earrings?
I was thinking how different would that be to have earrings to specifically match my outfits. So, I researched how to design crochet earrings.  I literally began to create a pair for each outfit that was in my closet. 
What do you love most about designing?
I love mixing colors and working with different yarns.  I become inspired when I walk into a yarn store and I see aisle & aisle of yarn.  Then, I find a comfortable chair and get to work (although it doesn't feel like work).  I admit that I often lose track of time when I am crocheting, it just that relaxing for me. 

What makes Pulling Strings' earrings standout?
Because, I'm using thread, strings, straw, silk and yarns to design my accessories it makes for a light and carefree pair of earrings.  Secondly, Pulling Strings' customers can customized their own pair of earrings by style and color.  Lastly, ladies appear to be in love with colors just as much as I am. They are sure to bring out any tops, dress or outfit you may have.

What is your inspiration for Pulling Strings different types of collection?
Pulling Strings main goal is to create classic accessories that can be worn in and out of different trends and seasons (i.e. Gold Hoops, Out unTeal, Sexy Black Lace & Funky Fushia). 

What can we expect for Pulling Strings New Line?
Ladies can expect Bold, Bright fibers to create a unique pair of earrings.  Pulling Strings will continue to provide stylish earring starting at $9 to $24.   

Where would you like to see Pulling Strings in 5 years?
I would like to see Pulling Strings on every ladies' ear, J/K.  I would like to see Pulling Strings in various boutiques nationally & internationally.   

Olive Oil & Coconut Oil as a Deep Conditioner

 

 

I posted this on Instagram and decided to tell what I did. It's super quick (the explanation that is).

My daughters hair was feeling really dry. I never deep condition her hair. I just wash it and condition it weekly. This labor day, I decided to do something different to add moisture or retain moisture.

 

The first picture in the top corner is her hair right out of a pony tail from the night before. DRY.

The second picture are the two ingredients I used to deep condition her hair, Olive oil & Coconut oil. I mixed them in a bowl, half and half. The third picture on the top is me applying the oils. I parted her hair in 4 sections and applied the oil from the ends to scalp. I made sure I really got the ends. They are super important because they are the oldest part of your hair. The fourth picture is with the hair bag on. She kept this on for at least an hour while she played around the house. I then rinsed her hair out in the shower. I washed it with Ms. Jessie's Shampoo and then conditioned it with Shea Moisture Shea Conditioner. It was softer and less tangled. There was a difference in the way her hair felt. I parted it down the middle and applied some Ms. Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls and we were off to celebrate our holiday! I always thought deep conditioning her hair would be a chore, but it was very easy. I will start doing this on hair at least 2x a month. I will try to do it on mines every week.

 

Olive oil is inexpensive, ranging $2-$7

Coconut oil IS expensive to me, $9 but you don't need a lot and it last a while.

The cool thing is, you can just use either oil to deep condition. They both [alone] will get the job done and are both great for your hair. I decided to put them together for the added benefit.

 

Thanks for reading! Do you deep condition?

 

Wordless Wednesday: Oven Fried Catfish Recipe

Welcome to Wordless Wednesday!

 

 

 

Today's photo of the day is "My Oven Fried Catfish!"

 

When I started dating my husband yeeaaarrsss ago, I spent alot of time watching his mother cook. She taught me somethings I still do today, one of which is Oven Fried Catfish. If you still like the fried taste but without the grease, this is the way to go. Last week, I made this dish and took a picture for my friend who wanted to try Oven Fried Chicken. The process is the same. You can google different recipes, oven temps and methods. But after you do it often, it will just come natural!

 

Here's a simple recipe:

 

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 pounds catfish fillets
• 1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seed
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup skim milk
• cooking spray

 Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and coat with cooking spray.
2. In a shallow dish, stir together the cornmeal, paprika, thyme, salt, celery seed, onion powder, garlic powder, and pepper. Dip the catfish fillets in milk, then place them into the cornmeal mixture and coat liberally; place on the greased baking sheet. (Which I coat with Olive Oil) Coat the tops of the fillets with cooking spray until wet. (I have never done this, but you can if you like.)
3. Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until fish is easily flaked with a fork.
4. *** I bake it a little longer than 15 minutes. At least until its looks and feels crunchy, and of course DONE.***

Source

 

 

Big Chop / Hair Growth Update

This is just a quick post about my hair growth. I cut my hair June 2nd. September 2nd made 3 months. I can say, I have had some hair growth. I didn't measure it, but can tell it's growing.

June 2nd 2012

I cut it to get my original curl pattern and thickness back.

Sept. 2nd 2012

3 months later, and it is growing back nicely. This was actually a twist out. As you can see, when stretched it comes to the middle of my face. I don't plan on getting it straightened until 6 months (December) when I get my end clips.

 

I keep it moisturized, ends protected and my scalp nourished. I am on a growth mission.

I also know that being "with child" will help! ;)

 

To see my original post when I first cut it off click HERE.

Maternity Monday: My Weight Gain Goal is in View

Sorry this post is so late in the day. It's a holiday and the hubby and I were out with our children ALL day. Came home, and made them crab legs and fish! What age do you teach your children how to eat crab legs!? It was enjoyable for them because they got the meat!! It was work for me, because I could hardly taste any because they were always ready for the next bite!!

Now on to Maternity Monday! Today I want to focus on my pregnancy weight goal. I downloaded a pregnancy app and based on my pre-baby weight, I should have only gained 3lbs! I have gained 11! 11 pounds! The funny thing is, I worked out my whole first trimester! I know I WAS eating more than I usually do though. Pre-pregnancy, I was on it! I was eating my fruits and veggies, no meat during the week and Zumba every other day. I found out I was pregnant, got mad and STARTED EATING! I still worked out but, I told myself the baby wanted a hamburger!! For the most part, I was still eating healthy. Just more food. Well, now my reality hit when I went to the doctor and he shook his head at me for gaining 5lbs in 4 weeks! And so early. So, I remember my original goal of gaining the 25-35 pounds a healthy woman should gain. I need to remember my goal of "being all belly!". I need to remember this is baby #3!

I love the way Tamera Mowery looks. Her baby is due in November and she looks awesome.

That is my goal right there. All belly.

 

Did you have weight goals while pregnant? How did you monitor yours?

 

 

 

I want to send a thank you to my friend "T" for calling me and telling me she has something for me. We met and it was a baby car seat, baby bouncy and a box full of baby clothes! Talk about feeling blessed!