The closer I get to my due date, the more I think about leaving the baby when my maternity leave it up! With my first two children, I worked at a different organization but I only worked part-time. I worked 20 hours a week and still was able to take 12 weeks (paid!) off. Going back to work wasn't an issue then because I wasn't away from my babies for very long.
Well fast forward 5-7 years later and here comes baby #3. I work a full-time j.o.b. and just the thought of leaving him for 8 hours or more (commute time) a day doesn't sit well with me. I get 12 weeks again (unpaid uggh!) and I am thankful I get that amount of time with the new baby, but I still feel guilty for leaving him after that. Especially, when I didn't have to with the first 2 children. I then think about all the other moms that go back to work after maternity leave and the kids adjust just fine. Then I also think about....it's a baby... a little baby... and being away so long all day makes me miss milestones, teachable moments, etc. I just feel some-kind of-way.
Now, I will say this. I NEVER wanted or desired to be a stay-at-home mother. There is nothing wrong with a stay-at-home-mom by choice. When I was younger, that just wasn't a dream of mine. I always saw myself in a career (TV, media, or something else major) making power moves! But I also saw myself married with kids (2 KIDS!).
As we grow, we learn everything we want to do doesn't always happen the way we want to or when we want to. So, now do I want to be a stay at home mom? No. Not really. But I want to stay at home! Does that make sense? Having a job is a blessing and I am grateful for mine, but working at a job that is NOT a CAREER and there is not passion or growth in it...is for the birds. So, when I say I want to stay at home, I mean I would love to stay at home with my new baby - be there for my other two kids when school is out and MAKE MONEY FROM HOME. I still want a career or to do something because that is JUST WHO I AM. But what? That is the question.
And some might ask, why don't you just not go back after the baby is born? Well, financially that isn't an option today. My money is needed in our household. Oh, if it was only that easy to walk away. I will say, my husband knows my heart and really wants to take me off my job and I know in his heart is working towards that.....but still....my baby #3 will be here NEXT MONTH!
So..............have you ever felt guilty about going back to work after your baby is born? Or are you cool with it? Have you been blessed to stay home by choice, but then felt "I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!"